What "We" Do Want To Hear

What "We" Do Want To Hear

Sometimes it's hard to know what to say to someone with an invisible illness, such as Fibromyalgia (FM) and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Myalgic Encephalopathy (CFS/ME/). Here are some things that someone with FM and CFS/ME would welcome hearing:


If you're not up to going out, we can just get together and (talk, play cards, watch a movie).

This shows that you understand the limitations of our illness and it gives the person an alternative to canceling plans.


Let's do our grocery (or Christmas) shopping together. I'll pick you up.

Shopping can be extremely tiring for us, and it can really help to have someone else there to help with things like loading and unloading the car, or trekking back across the store for a forgotten item on the other side.


How much are you up for today?

This shows that you understand that our energy levels can vary from day to day and can help your companion feel comfortable expressing his/her limitations.


How are things going?

This is better than asking "how do you feel." It opens the door to all aspects of life, instead of just physical well being. Most days, I don't feel that great, but my life might be going really well.


Can I (pick you up, help with that, etc.)?

This works better than something like, "Do you need me to...." because it shows a willingness on your part to help without implying the person is incapable or is a burden.


On a personal note:

It's very difficult for those of us in wheelchairs to open doors for ourselves. If you see someone struggling to open a door while in a wheelchair, or using a walker, by all means ask if we'd like help. We DO!